in 1999 i wrote a piece called "who am i?"...i decided to write this companion piece on july 18, 2002.
i am a healer.

at one time...even not so long ago...i would have said that i was a mother. that being a mother was the most important, sum total essence of who i am. now i realize that it's not, and it actually never was. being a mother is incredibly important to me, and my kids are certainly the focus of most of my time. but being a mother is only a part of my work as a healer.

as a mother i am healing myself. by mothering myself and my children gently i am healing the hurts of how i was parented. as a single mother i am healing the hurts of not always being able to mother the way i wanted to because i had to compromise my mothering ideals to my children's father. i am healing the hurts of being told that he never agreed with me about how the children should be parented.

as a mother i am healing my children. by mothering gently i am healing the hurts inflicted when i compromised and allowed them to be hurt by punishments and inappropriate coercion, from their father and from others. by mothering gently i am healing the hurts of the times that i fell back into the patterns that my culture and my parents showed me for parenting. by mothering gently i am preparing my children to deal fairly and gently with others in their lives. by mothering gently i am preparing my children to be gentle parents.

as a mother i am healing my culture and my world. by mothering gently i am co-creating with my children and my fellow gentle mothers a group of people who will know that there are ways to relate to others that do not include violence, force, and coercion. by mothering gently i am co-creating a group of people who will seek peaceful, respectful solutions. by mothering gently i am co-creating a group of people who will believe that retaliation, counter-attack, is not a viable option.

but i am a healer above and beyond motherhood. i have always been a healer.

on a daily basis i offer healing to those who seek me out for psychic readings, for reiki treatment, for massage, for advice, for support in birthing their babies gently, nurturing them, breastfeeding them, mothering them gently.

sometimes my zeal to share my heartsong about personal healing, about global healing, about healing birth and parenting, feels evangelistic. i want to shout it from the mountaintops. i want to stop every person on the street and ask, "have you heard? do you know there is another way?"

i don't. ::smile::

it is a healing to send this energy out to those who are receptive and ready for it. it is a healing to offer my heartsong to those who can hear it. to some i may sing only a note or two...hum a bar..."does this tune touch you?" to some i may sing the whole beautiful aria, with tears streaming down my face.

listen listen listen to my heartsong
listen listen listen to my heartsong
i will always love you
i will always heal you
i will always love you
i will always heal you
listen listen listen to my heartsong
listen listen listen to my heartsong
listen listen listen

why am i?

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