this poem was written shortly after my son griffin was born, and while my husband was involved with a new lover. between those two events, i found myself questioning everything i was (again!).

written september 19, 1999

who am i?

i almost invariably define myself by who i am to those around me...
"i'm mark's wife"
"daystar's mom"
"bonnie & bobby's daughter"
"cindy's sister"
"griff's mommy"

or by what i do...
"i'm a career mom"
"i homeschool"
"i teach fertility awareness"
"i use cloth diapers"
"i breastfeed exclusively"
"i help women breastfeed"
"i teach and heal with reiki"

or what i don't do...
"i don't circumcise"
"i don't vaccinate"
"i don't use cribs, strollers..."
"i don't eat meat"
"i don't use doctors"
etc. etc.

why don't i say who i really am?

i'm a mother. i'm a teacher. i'm a lover. i'm a friend.
i'm a scared little girl. i'm a strong woman.
i'm a healer. i'm a witch. i'm a wisewoman.
i'm a lesbian in a straight marriage.
i'm confident. i'm terrified.
i'm loving. i'm forgiving.
i'm happy. i'm depressed. i'm conflicted.
i'm trusting. i'm suspicious.
i can't say no.
i'm shy. i'm outgoing.

i'm 10 weeks postpartum...does that explain any of this?

no, i don't think so.

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