written december 29, 2002

trust
not something i really knew
not something i could give
not even something i could receive
till he came along
convinced me
that i could trust
him
that i could trust
fully
that he would always be there
that he would never lie
that he would never leave
trust
now i'm in the habit of
trusting
and i trust others
more easily
sometimes too easily
but the real problem
is that i'm in the habit of
trusting
him
and even though he has broken
my trust
shattered it
contemptuously thrown it down
stomped on it
spat on it
laughed at it
i still find myself automatically
trusting him
expecting him
to be honorable
to be ethical
to be honest
what will it take
for my trust in him
to finally end
how much more abuse
can it take
before it dies
he is not trustworthy
he is not honorable
he is not ethical
he is not honest
i will not trust him
i will not let him
use my trust
against me
against my children
ever
again

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