written july 26, 2002, 9:42pm

silence
never is there truly silence
not sure i have experienced it
in so many years
that i've forgotten what it's like
do i want it?
sometimes i think i do
but then when i approach it
(though it's not really silence
just relative quiet)
when the kids are gone
the house is quiet
i'm agitated
distressed
go about turning on noise

what is it about the silence?
why does it frighten me so?

am i afraid of what i will hear?
afraid of what i won't hear?
afraid of what i will say?
of what i won't say?

in my imagination
silence is a lovely place
within the silence i can meditate
find myself
go within
search my soul

in my reality
silence is unobtainable
and unwelcome
and unknown
and unbearable

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