this was written the morning after my ex-husband got my son, daystar, vaccinated without my knowledge. it was just the last straw.

written during class, august 29, 2002, 9:00am

manipulated
deceived
betrayed
hurt
again
why
do i let you do this
why
do i let your charm
pull me in
because i still love you?
but it's not really that
it's more the memory
of the love we had
i know it's gone
and it won't be back
but when you talk to me
in that smooth voice
i forget
that you are an addict
a liar
a master manipulator
and that's the one thing
i can't let myself forget.
i lose sight of everything
that's happened
and hear only what
i want to hear
what you want me to hear
that you want to be
a parent
a friend
you've successfully killed
any love that might have remained
goodbye, mark.

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